God is not looking for a better you so he can love you the way He wants. No! God wants you to run into the embrace of Jesus, just as you are, an ungodly, wicked, sinner.
Christ didn’t die for what you one day would become, He died for you the sinner, dead in trespasses and sin, unable to help yourself in any significant way.
So stop trying to save yourself! Or, stop trying to get to the point morally where God can feel good about loving you. God loved you before the world was created. He knew about your deceitfulness, He knew about your lust, He knew that you would love yourself more than the One who made you and that you would serve yourself…, and He loved you anyway.
Jesus said of himself, “I am THE way, THE truth, and The life…” He alone is the way to God and fullness of joy. He alone is Truth and every self effort is a lie. And only He can give life to the spiritually and physically dead.
Turn yourself in! Surrender! Give up, stop trying to fix yourself! You can’t do it! Throw yourself upon the One who died for ALL of your sins and is offering to you the free gift of His perfect righteousness. Trade religion with all it’s adornments for a relationship with the God who loves you without measure. Put your hope in Jesus, He never fails.