An unorthodox way to do God’s will


The Riverside Scroll News Corp.

The story of the sudden destruction of Jericho and it’s people along with the invasion of a vast area of land by a huge group of Jews has dominated the news for almost a week. And, just today we learned that other cities and people are being over run with the Jewish people. They reportedly claim to have crossed the river at flood stage on dry ground following their leader, a fellow named Joshua, and some Jewish priests who were carrying some sort of a model of the fabled ark of Noah.

Yesterday one of our reporters (name withheld at the reporters request) was able to interview a man who was with the invaders. He agreed to answer a few questions on the record and his answers left us more confused than before. Following is a transcript of the interview.

Reporter: Are you one of the Jews who supposedly crossed the river on dry ground and destroyed the walled city of Jericho?

Jew: Yes

Reporter: Do you expect our readers to believe that you crossed this river at flood stage and didn’t get wet?

Jew: No

Reporter: What role did you play in this whole unbelievable chain of events?

Jew: Oh, that is easy sir. I followed the priests who were carrying the ark of the covenant and when their feet touched the water it…..well it sort of…..it just piled up! And we walked across.

Reporter: …..Really??

Jew: You asked what happened, thats what happened.

Reporter: Were you a participant in the destruction of Jericho and the slaughter of its people and animals?

Jew: Are you a cop?

Reporter: No, of course not, I am just a news reporter.

Jew: Yes sir, I was there.

Reporter: What was your role in that event?

Jew: You’re going to think I’m lying…

Reporter: Go ahead, tell me, the people want to know about this.

Jew: Who is your God?

Reporter: I’m asking the questions, OK? Please answer my question.

Jew: OK then. I walked around in circles and shouted as loud as I could.

Reporter: Go ahead…

Jew: Thats it! Thats all I did. Oh, after the walls fell flat I took a sword and killed a few people, one ox, and two sheep. Thats about all I can think of.

Reporter: Do you have a history of mental illness? Who do you expect to believe that?

Jew: My God promised my ancestors this land, many, many years ago. And, my father died in the wilderness on the way here to posses this land of promise. A few days ago, our Jehovah fulfilled his promise. There is nothing he can’t do. Stack water, make sound waves tear down great stone walls. He can even….

Reporter: I have heard enough. Thanks for your time.

Jew: Whatever

The leaders of the surrounding countries have heard all sorts of rumors and are trying to decide what can be done if anything. People are afraid of the God of the Jews. If these stories are true? Well, in the opinion of this writer there is very little chance much of what has been reported is true. Only time will tell I suppose.

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2 comments on “An unorthodox way to do God’s will

  1. Getting into the heads of the characters in the Biblical narratives is so crucial for application. I’m glad you did two things here:

    1. You portrayed the characters like modern people instead of dumbing down the participants as we are so prone to do. For whatever reason we have “chronological pride.” (I didn’t coin that but I can’t recall who did… perhaps CS Lewis?) We think that our technology, educational systems and historical 20/20 perspective make us superior to the generations that came before us when we are no more intellectually astute than they were. We don’t necessarily think too highly of ourselves, just too lowly of them.

    2. You looked at it from more than one side. Instead of simply associating ourselves with Joshua, you put us in the place of a typical Israelite and a typical Cannanite. There are lessons to learn from all the characters of the narrative.

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