May 24 2011

The Quick Fix


A frantic call comes to the counselors office, “I need to talk to someone. My husband might be having an affair and I am so worried…” Eventually, a 30 ish couple sits before the counselor and one after the other they punch and counter punch, shifting blame, denying responsibility, and once they have finally aired their laundry, they both look at the professional fixer of broken people and their faces ask “What now?”

The man and his wife were raised by parents who were careful to not offend their child’s sensibilities, resulting in few hard rules, and blurred limits that resulted in controlled chaos. The wife’s parents ruled by consensus with each member of the family having a voice in solving any problems. The husband’s mother is a domineering woman married to a man who is passive personified. The result is two children who are immature, spoiled, and every slight bump in the road of life causes them both to quickly play the victim card. Everything is someone else’s fault.

The counselor, now two and a half years into his practice, is a trained professional. His specialized training fits this case perfectly. Had they not both already declared each is a victim he would have done it for them. What he knows is that everyone’s social problems as adults are not really their fault but a result of childhood emotional trauma.

This husband and wife just wasted a large fee because they are sitting in the office of a person who is not equipped to tell them the truth but will only play to their weaknesses. The counselor is frustrated too because he knows this couple is headed for divorce court and he can do little to stop it. He will spend the next six weeks asking the wrong questions, gathering data that us useless. Information is not the answer, truth is.

I think in most cases a “Christian Counselor” is better than one who is not a Christian. I know for sure that a “Biblical Counselor” is better than a “Christian Counselor”. He or she may be a PhD with a certification in family therapy. Or it might be a pastor, some other church leader, or a trusted friend who is brave enough to tell troubled people the truth. A trained counselor who happens to be a Christian is far different from a trained counselor who is a “Biblical counselor”.

The problem with failed marriages is almost always SIN. There are often as in this example sins of infidelity and other “big sins”. But there is also selfishness, unforgiveness, lying, and a host of others that cause couples who were once deeply in love to look for a way out. It takes courage to look someone in the eye and tell them the obvious but it needs to be done.

Divorce is at epidemic levels even among evangelical Christians. The bad news is that the trend will continue as long as church leaders accept unrepentant people whose lives are full of sin as members in good standing in their congregations. The Quick Fix is divorce. Just hire an attorney, tell the kids, split up the stuff, and move on. The problem isn’t solved. Yes, a marriage is dissolved. But, one or more people leaves the court-house still in rebellion against the former spouse and God.

A Christian man and a Christian woman, both of whom are walking in the Spirit, are daily experiencing, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. A person who is living in this reality does not have divorce on his or her mind. It is the person who is experiencing some of these things, sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies and the like who is ready for the Quick Fix.

A person who has a sin filled life needs to hear one word plainly and forcefully, Repent! Our churches are filled with Christians who are trying desperately to live the Christ life in the energy and resources of the flesh. It has never worked and it will not work. Only by the power of the Holy Spirit is it possible to live in the victory of the Christ life. We are to be filled with the Spirit (Ephesians 5:18). Christians are to live their lives in happy submission to each other and especially so in marriage.

There is little doubt that if two troubled people will sincerely repent, forsaking every known sin and asking their God to fill them with himself, they can do what is necessary to save a holy union. Paul encouraged the Ephesians saying,

“put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self,created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”
(Ephesians 4:22-24)

A believer can live like the old person or like the new person created to please God. Don’t go for the Quick Fix. Honestly, the best you know how, confess your sins and purpose to turn away from them and trust God to change you into the person you really want to be.

I write this as one who long ago was in a divorce court. I have many, many friends who are divorced, some as many as 3 times. It isn’t right. It is against God and his will. I do hope we, all of us who call Christ our Lord, will try to do things God’s way and not our way which always fails.

Royce Ogle

May 15 2011

Unconditional Love?


God wants those who love him, his own dear children through Christ, to love like he loves. We are to forgive as he for Christ’s sake forgave us. We are even held to the lofty standard of loving our enemies and praying for them.

The list of qualities that mark Christians (fruits of the Spirit), listed in Galatians 5 begins with “love“. The most complete chapter in the Bible about love is 1 Corinthians 13. It is most often used in weddings. But God had in mind something far more than a sentimental reading for two people about to be married, he wanted it to be descriptive of the lives of his children. The numerous problems with the immature and sinful church members in Corinth could be completely solved by loving like this.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. ( 1 Corinthians 13:1-8a, 13 )

When I read these words and compare myself to this grid of Christ-likeness I find myself far short of where I would like to be. And, I am likely not alone.

The recent wave of damaging weather events has caused me once again to reflect on my own life and to examine how I love others. The recent weeks have also given opportunity to think about how other Christians love those who have lost so much. These are some of the conclusions I have realized.

We tend to love those who are most like us.

In response to a tornado, flood, or hurricane churches usually respond first to those of their denomination, in the hard hit area. My church is no different. I think this truth is largely because we are more comfortable interacting with people with whom we have more in common. And of course, in our case, almost every cent of each dollar is donated by Church of Christ people and those donors want to help their brothers and sisters. The good thing is that relief funds are managed by local church leaders in communities they know well and the result is that dollars go far and there is little waste. It is the most natural thing in the world to want to help family first, that is the way we are made I suppose. If there is a severe weather event north of Ft. Worth my first call is going to be to check on my grand daughters and their parents. It would be unnatural to do other wise! But, …aren’t we called to be unnatural?

One thing that is clear about the life of Jesus and his benevolence is that he was indiscriminate. His feeding of crowds, giving sight to the blind, healing, raising the dead, and choosing disciples, cut across any cultural or family or religious lines.

I’m only speculating, but what if we gave money to help people in a town that had flooded with these stipulations. “Help the poorest, most needy people in town first, without regard to their church affiliation or lack of it. After we have done what we can for the weakest we will then try to help others.” I think of the devastation in Tuscaloosa and a friend who prayed for direction when he drove into town wanting to help. His request brought him to a small trailer park off the beaten path were no one had been there to offer help. I know this good man didn’t poll them to find out what church they attended before he started to help them. Isn’t his a good plan? It seems to me it is.

Here is the objection and the Scriptural proof I’m wrong. “Brother Royce the Bible teaches we are to help Christians first.” And then this passage will be referenced or quoted.

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.
( Galatians 6:9-10 )

Well, it does say “especially to those who are of the household of faith” and that would be Christians. And, I agree. But what is the text really addressing? I think it’s worth looking at the context. The immediate context is not concerned primarily with charitable giving but is stated in verse 6.

One who is taught the word must share all good things with the one who teaches. ( Galatians 6:6 )

Paul is making the case that those who are teachers deserve to be supported. This passage in no way that I can see is about who we should help after a damaging storm. He stresses his point by saying “…Do good to everyone, and especially those who are of the household of faith“. If we should be doing good to everyone how dare you not help one who has taught you the Word of God! What kind of Christian would you be if you helped everyone except your teachers?

We tend to love those we think we can make like us.

I fear that far to often when we as churches reach out to the unchurched we do so with a view of making them like us. And our desire bleeds over to not only religious identity but cultural as well. I have heard many reports of people visiting church plants in Africa or some other foreign country where the preacher is dressed in suit and tie while the members are dressed in the colorful garb of their culture. How foolish for us to try to “Americanize” indigenous preachers!

I remember well a Southern Baptist missionary who was for many years supported by a church in Asheville, N C. This good man traveled to many small villages walking and by bicycle. The church decided to purchase a motorcycle for him to make his travel easier. After a short time an apologetic letter was read to the church saying that he could not live better than his people. Not one of them had a motorcycle so it had been sold and the money given to the poor. I thank God for the tender heart of this African missionary and the lesson he taught me long ago.

I wonder, if we were to go to a town of very poor people, steeped in sin, to help them. How much would we help if we knew up front that none of them would convert to our brand of Christianity? I think the answer is obvious.

We tend to love those we can get credit for loving.

First, I say “we” and that includes me. I really, really, like a pat on the back. An acknowledgement from a church leader, or a comment from a fellow church member really inflates my ego. This is a confession, not anything more or less.

Just as I, in my prideful self, want credit for good things I do, so do most others. If the Southern Baptists are handing out food and water at a storm event there is always a large banner to announce it. And of course the same is true of Churches of Christ and every other brand I can think of. I don’t think this is a terrible dark sin but is for a fact emblematic of the fact that we want credit. I honestly doubt that Jesus gladly approves.

I should be just as happy if people get the emergency goods and services they need if those things come in a truck from Catholics, Methodists, Mennonites, or any other church or civic group. Shouldn’t I? And further, if as a result many people come into a saving relationship with Jesus shouldn’t that alone give me joy and rejoicing without regard for who the messenger was or where they worship?

Love is the greatest. Love never fails, or ends. Faith will run it’s course and hope will be swallowed up by the true reality but love, yes love is eternal, it is God’s essence. The love God calls us to show to our fellows on this earth is sacrificial, generous, gracious, unselfish, and unconditional. You see, God didn’t find anything in you and me to make him want to love us. What he saw in us was the reverse. He saw sinful rebellion, pride, selfishness, and all the manifold lusts of the human mind and body, and he loved us anyway!

My prayer is that I can do a better job of loving others. I think loving the truth may be a prerequisite.

For love like His,
Royce Ogle

By Royce • Posted in love
2
May 10 2011

Blessed Assurance – 1st John (4th post)


The basis of our fellowship with Him (God) and with each other.

 If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 7But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. (1 John 1:6-7)

Fellowship is not based on our doing but rather upon our being. A casual glance at this familiar passage might lead you to think the opposite is true, but a closer look makes the basis of fellowship clear.

“If we say…” can be far different from what we are in reality. Those who are Christ’s have a lifestyle that proves up that relationship. Those who “say” one thing and live another are liars. Our churches have impostors among the true believers. One “practices truth” and the other lives a lie. How a person lives always proves who he is.

Those who “walk in the light” are those who know the source of light. They have fellowship with God and with each other. No amount of good works will change one from darkness to light. God is light and those who are in union with Christ live in that light.

We are very good at setting boundaries of fellowship that only reflect our immaturity and not God’s intentions. Jesus prayed for his faith-followers in John 17 saying,

I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me. (John 17:20-23)

Becoming a oneness community is based on our relationship to God through Christ, not on our worship, views of certain doctrines, or other preferences. What we “do” rises from who we “are” and whose we are, not the reverse.

(to be continued)

living in light,

Royce